DJ Daddy

Escapes from the Baltimore Heat Wave: Colorado and Florida

2010-07-31T11:34:00.000-07:00

July has been one of the hottest months on record, in Baltimore and a lot of other places in the country. I think back to this winter when right-wing commentators were heckling the theory of global warming because of the crazy snow storms we had. Seems that the global climate change may be experienced more as extremes, instability and lack of predictability, rather than just straight warming. Anyway, I never would have expected that we would have found the weather cooler down in Gainesville, Florida, yet this was the case in early July.

Our trip down to Gainesville was not a planned vacation. We flew down to attend the funeral of Marie's grandpa. The event was not unforeseen, yet it was a sad premise for a family reunion and involved some impromptu theological discussion with the 3-year-old. Mila seemed to grasp some of the implications of what death is, and yet the emotional reality of this event for the adult family members around her was not readily easy for her to understand. I am glad that some of her comments inserted during the saying of grace at the table were only in the more intimate presence of Marie's immediate family (rather than the formal extended family dinner the day before). Life is definitely entering a new phase of learning for Mila as she tests out some of the larger concepts of our existence. I feel that my parenting has to enter a new stage of consciousness as well, as I have to deeply consider what teachings I am imparting through my words and actions.

Our camera was inadvertently left behind in Baltimore during this Florida trip. Fortunately, my sister-in-law posted some great photos of our family blueberry picking expedition (from somewhere near Gainesville) up on Facebook. Drew's outfit from that day really hasn't recovered. Drew and Mila got to really bond with their cousins Cain, Rachel, and Ethan. By chance, we got to see them just two weeks later in Colorado. They were in the Denver area for a wedding, while Marie had a week-long class on the electrical grid that became the premise for a family vacation. The cousins got to play together for two days around Littleton, south of Denver (a location that I had never planned to visit, given its macabre history). Deer Creek Canyon Park was a nice hiking location around there, minus the looming presence of a big Northrop Grumman building at the bottom of the valley.

We stayed in Lakewood, right outside of Golden, staying at a nice little hotel that became Mila's favorite place in the world. Her requests to go back to the hotel became a bit ridiculous, though we did manage to do some great hiking. Several trips into Rocky Mountain National Park were made- the first with Marie before her class started, and the second just with kids (who napped as I drove on a one-lane dirt road of switchbacks, ruts and potholes, up into the realm of snow fields and across the continental divide).

Some photo highlights from our Colorado trip are posted above, from locations including the town of Golden, the Denver Zoo, the Rocky Mountain National Park, and the Pearl Street Mall in Boulder.

Beach Day Pics (minus sunburn)

2010-06-25T19:41:00.000-07:00

We took a family trip to Assateague Island for Father's Day last weekend. Marie and I got the kids into the car still asleep at 5:30 AM and were halfway across the Eastern Shore before they woke up. Mila was excited to get her first pair of [pink] flip flops, and to see if she could enjoy the ocean waves like she did with the smaller ones on the bay. Drew had no fear of waves to overcome in the first place. This was Marie's first time at Assateague Island, as it was for Drew, and though we did not find our car immersed in a wild pony herd like the time when Mila and I came here together, we did spot one pony from a distance in a salt marsh. A great beach day, despite awarding myself with a rather serious sunburn.

Flower Girl Adventures

2010-06-18T16:19:00.000-07:00

Last weekend we had the pleasure of attending the wedding of our friends Julia and Zac, on a family estate near Leesburg, VA. Mila had been looking forward to this event for some time, as she had been chosen to be the flower girl. A set of handmade fairy wings were designed to complete Mila's outfit, a contribution from one of the many artist friends of the couple, who also happen to be MICA grads. Mila performed the role with perfection (as anyone who knows my daughter might imagine) and captured the hearts of many in attendance. I must admit that I felt a bit territorial as a parent when Mila scooped up by a middle-aged woman unknown to me and praised for her flower girl role during toasts to the newlyweds- especially when she was allowed to have multiple sugar flowers off the cake without any parental consultation. Ahem...

The Four Directions, Learning To Walk

2010-05-16T23:47:00.000-07:00

It's been too long since I visited this blog, and the longer that I have left it the more difficult it is to pick up a thread of continuity. How can I summarize all the amazing events and progressions that the last couple months have seen?

On the evening of April Fool's day and into the sunrise of the next day, my doctoral dissertation piece from 2004- "Mandala of the Four Directions" (a cantata for 4 singers and 4 ensembles) and the all-night music festival that I have always wanted to organize ("The Vigil") were premiered at MICA. Marie, Mila, Drew, and my mom were all able to come to the cantata performance and the first part of The Vigil. Among other collaborative contributions, my friend Jon Bevers created an installation by the entrance to the Brown Center- of 4 sand boxes with representations of Earth, Air, Fire, and Water, plus a video projection of an animated mandala with images of the same elements. On the edges of the Cohen Plaza I had set up 4 soundsystems (the North and South ones under tents), through which performers I had invited (plus students in my Live Electonic Music class) overlapped their performances through the course of the whole night. A drum circle was formed in the middle of the plaza, and it was amazing to see the carnival that unfolded beyond my control- my best expectations were surpassed! Although the drum circle and some of the performances became a bit loud at some points, and the fountain briefly became a swimming pool infused with green food coloring, the large crowd of students and others from the community maintained a magical and elevated communal vibration throughout the night. I hope to make it an annual festival.

Related to the theme of the four directions, and balance, Drew is walking! This has really picked up in the last several weeks, with increasing speed. A couple days ago he went on his first hike in the woods, at Loch Raven reservoir. Mila pretended to be a baby brontosaurus in the ferns.

Mila and Drew's interactions ever increase in hilarity, as well as occasional challenges (i.e. sharing).

I've posted here some recent pictures (and older ones- a video of Nani's visit around the first of April, plus an image from The Vigil all-night music festival). The video and pictures with Nani are at a kite festival on Solomons Island. The other pictures of Mila and Drew are from trips in the past week to the Science Center, the Zoo, and Wyman Park in Baltimore. I gave Drew a haircut a few days after the most recent of these pictures. Since Grandpa and Nani are visiting later this week, I'm sure we'll have some more pictures to upload soon.

Guerilla Sound Art Babies

2010-03-23T10:25:00.000-07:00

Getting ready for my all-night music festival in the Cohen Plaza at MICA on April 1st, The Vigil, I hauled some audio equipment and instruments out for an outdoor improv session with the kids last week. Our sound check was assisted by our friends the Dalbys- Papa Ben, Silas & Margaret. Ben took these great photos of our session.

A Virginia Vacation

2010-03-16T21:37:00.000-07:00

Marie traveled to Santa Fe for a conference this week, the first time that mama has been away since Drew was born. I have a whole new appreciation for the parenting teamwork that Marie and I have, and a new awareness of Drew's nighttime sleeping patterns in particular.

Meanwhile, Mila, Drew, and myself have taken the opportunity to bond with nature over the past couple of days, and to introduce the newest member of our family to Dinosaur Land, my annual pilgrimage destination in White Post, VA. Mila has been enjoying a couple of "Dinotopia" fantasy books that Marie checked out from the library. A protoceratops character from the book, named Bix, has been Mila's alter-ego for most of the day. Following Dinosaur Land, we got our annual pass to Shenandoah National Park and drove on Skyline Drive for awhile. I had to throw in a visit to Charlottesville too, being the hometown of my birth and all.[Can I just say that the lack of formatting in this Blogger app is ridiculous. I apologize for the lack of consistency in the upkeep of this blog, but Blogger makes things much more difficult than they need to be- which is why I'm mostly just using Twitter. OK, rant done.]

Bmore Snow Days

2010-02-07T16:50:00.000-08:00

The first image is the Cohen Plaza at MICA where I plan to have my dissertation piece performed in less than 2 months. Pray for good drainage. The last image here is our car.

A few January photos

2010-01-29T19:05:00.000-08:00

Christmas Costumes!

2009-12-27T21:55:00.000-08:00

Yes, it's ridiculous how long I've been away from this blog

2009-12-15T21:31:00.000-08:00

I can't properly provide a summary of a month-and-a-half away from updating this, so I will just make this a photographic update.

Merry Christmas (will post again just after the holiday)!

The Blueberry Fairy: Mila's first Halloween party

2009-11-01T00:05:00.000-07:00

Mila actually got to dress up as the Blueberry Fairy (her own invention) twice in the past week. First for the Zoo Boo at the Maryland Zoo in Baltimore (I missed out on that one), then for a Halloween party at the green space in the Abell neighborhood- where we also did trick or treating for the first time! A great time was had by all. Drew got the coveted chili pepper baby costume.

Graphic Notations by Mila

2009-10-23T09:46:00.000-07:00

Mila's skills as an artist are continually developing. It is truly remarkable to see her use lines and shapes in new ways, very conscious about color. In fact, when I ask her about her drawings she mostly just talks about the colors and then makes physical gestures to indicate what she has done with them. They are truly abstract drawings, I think (though she hasn't taken to the word "abstract"). For her birthday she received some oil crayons and a sketchbook. Today as we sat in the Free School, waiting for other kids who never came, she made a series of really remarkable sketches in the book- new kinds of textures I hadn't seen her use before. Here is a sampling of her recent work:

Mila discovers new synth parameters

2009-10-22T05:41:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure what she did, but through her exploration of the knobs and buttons on my old M-Audio Radium, hooked up to a Thor soft-synth in Reason, she produced some interesting variations on a loop that she recorded.

Sitting upright

2009-10-21T22:50:00.000-07:00

Drew is gaining great upper body strength and balance (maybe from all his time being carried in a wrap?). The other day we introduced Drew to the array of stuffed animals on the top bunk and set up a tent there, while he sat and explored plush surfaces. Now able to sit independently for a little while!

Pictures from Mila's third birthday!

2009-10-18T08:25:00.000-07:00

Mila and Drew 9/09

2009-09-25T20:34:00.000-07:00

Communication expands. The first laughs have been shared, and a lifelong relationship forged. Simply amazing. Drew rolled from his belly to his back all by himself today! Also gaining great upper body control, new vocal sounds. To the tune of "Every Time" (Dubble8).

Art For Free Children (Prelude)

2009-09-18T07:12:00.000-07:00

I hope that everyone can excuse my lengthy absence from this blog. The past several weeks have been fairly crazy for me in my extra-parental professional world. I started my Sound I class at MICA, while the opening of Mobtown Modern's third concert season led me to create a documentary podcast on loop-based music, complete a composition for the opening concert (for myself to perform on 6 different instruments, using software that I had never before used live), to coordinate a collaboration between two composer friends for a separate MM event ("Music By Fax" at the Contemporary Museum) - also requiring that I prepare audio samples and create several beats for the occasion, edit video from said event, and coordinate the guest lecture at MICA of the wonderful composer/violinist Todd Reynolds, to rehearse and conduct an ensemble arrangement of 3 hip-hop instrumentals, and (oh yeah) perform by one-man-band composition. Great pre-concert article in Baltimore's City Paper, top of the music section. I am somewhat dreading the probable review of my piece by our esteemed Baltimore Sun critic Tim Smith, but OK, now I can breathe.

So, did I mention that Mila and Drew and I will be starting something of an informal homeschooling program? We have a new babysitting exchange set up with our friends Paul and Joanna, with their kids Charlotte and June. Since Paul is also a stay-at-home dad, we are working out plans for something of a weekly schedule. A big part of this is going to be a kids-and-parents art/music/storytelling class that I am organizing at the Baltimore Free School- OPENING DOWNSTAIRS FROM US NEXT WEEK! I am very excited for this, and very happy to have some guidance from my mom- a master of early childhood education. Tuesday will be our first day. We're going to have the class on Tuesday and Friday mornings, with (hopefully) parents taking turns bringing materials.

Marie will be teaching a babywearing class at the Free School as well. She has been looking forward to doing workshops again, since the closing of our favorite independent kids' store, Bediboo in Lauraville, which used to host Marie's workshops last year. To summarize, we're pretty psyched about where we live and the school downstairs.

In other news, Drew got his first haircut! Mila has relented in her requests to go to the barber, for which Marie is happy.

"Let's do tricks with bricks and blocks, sir." -- Dr. Seuss

PIECE by Mila Spangler

2009-08-18T10:24:00.000-07:00

Mila improvises with toy piano and microphone with KP3 processing, collaborating with her daddy. So glad to be back home.

Summer Road Trip 2009

2009-08-17T13:28:00.000-07:00

Traveling with an infant is not the easiest thing in the world- such I remembered from Mila's first months when we struggled with the drive from Cape Coral to Gainesville, Florida. This summer, with Drew entering his third month, we were looking for a challenge. Marie had a job-related conference on utilities regulation that would be lasting 2 weeks at Michigan State University. Just prior to that was the Schneider family reunion, of Marie's mother's side, in the area around Mount Pleasant, Michigan. In the days leading up to that, Marie's immediate family (Mom, Dad, brothers Brian and Tommy, with Tommy's family of five) were renting a house in the North Woods, near Mancelona (in the northwestern region of the glove). Following the family reunions and 2-week conference in Michigan, we also had an opportunity to visit our dear friends Paul and Garrett, with their newborn daughter Noura Hart, in Lexington, Kentucky- not chosen for its proximity to our initially-planned driving route. We were also fortunate to visit dear friends at the beginning of our journey- catching international musicians of mystery, Dana and Mike (newly engaged!), just before they left for their next year in Amsterdam.

In the middle of this epic journey was my initiation into all-day caregiving to both of my children while Marie attended her conference. While this was a challenging first immersion into my new role, it was a beautiful one which brought me closer to my kids- a fitting place to have my 33rd birthday. I'm glad that my own parents were able to drive out to Michigan from Iowa to see us in our new life as a family of four. Now comes the next stage as we return home and Marie phases back to a regular work schedule- the end of maternity leave. OK, I'm ready.

Camping in Double Quartet Family Style

2009-07-16T17:44:00.000-07:00

Cunningham Falls State Park, MD.
Camping with Ben, Rachel, Silas, and Margaret Dalby. 7/16/09

My Kid Is So Cool

2009-07-14T22:57:00.000-07:00

Mila's week in coolness:

Saturday- made friends with a couple of Trinidadian kids at Baltimore's Caribbean Carnival (very small compared with the ones I experienced in Boston, but still great) in Druid Hill Park. No other white kids to be seen along the parade route, but of course Mila didn't care- especially when she was given a Trini flag to wave. Brought back memories of my experiences as the only non-Islander participating in the Jouvert Morning celebrations at Carnival in Boston, when I played with the Jah Jah Drummers. Mila loved the costumes and huge DJ soundsystems on semitrailers going by.

Sunday- Went swimming/wading at Prettyboy Reservoir up near the Penn border. Definitely no other toddlers around. Overheard a swimming college kid say to his girlfriend, "I wish my dad took me places like this when I was little." Very beautiful dip in the woods.

Tuesday- Toddler birthday party for Mila's friend Sage. Book exchange!

Wednesday- Going camping at Catoctin Mountain Park with the Dalby family. Our first time camping as a family of 4! Hope the tent works out alright for all of us.

Friday- Artscape festival for the next 3 days, happening right down the block from our apartment. Exciting weekend, including a Mobtown Modern-organized happening for 111 bicycles, "Eine Brise"!

Drew Smiles!

2009-07-14T04:34:00.000-07:00

Late June Family Chill Time

2009-06-30T22:07:00.000-07:00

The close proximity of our wedding anniversary, Father's Day, and Marie's birthday, in combination with maternity leave, put us in a mood for outdoor excursions in late June. The obligatory vacation video here brings together Drew's first closeup, as the new star of the Spangler family, with a few shots from recent trips to Rehoboth Beach and Rocks State Park. Music by DJ Dubble8: "Anniversary".

First 4 weeks of a relationship

2009-06-28T14:31:00.000-07:00

Big Sister Mila

2009-06-19T07:37:00.000-07:00

Mila is a wonderful big sister. There is nothing that she enjoys more than holding her little brother. Of course she is having to adjust to this new role in all kinds of ways. The predictable difficulties all seem to be in her relationship to Marie and I and how we divide our attention between Mila and Drew. If Drew begins crying and needs to be held, Mila also gets upset and wants to be held. Sometimes she chooses to whine in place of using the words that she knows to express her feelings. A desire to return to the state of being a baby is understandable. Mila has also been more emotionally fragile in general, sometimes manifesting as a meltdown in tears after a simple attempt at correction or redirection on my part. Sometimes it manifests as anger toward me, with words such as "you go away RIGHT NOW!" Those last two words pop up more and more. Marie and I don't actually use those words in that way in our interactions with Mila, but somewhere Mila latched on to this expression as a way of affirming her strong personal will.

Marie and I are careful to provide Mila with special activities and outings that are just one of us and her, to avoid any hint of Mila's needs being de-prioritized. We are grateful that Mila is finally feeling better after a lingering cough and fever that kept her from playing with friends for most of these weeks since Drew was born. Yesterday, Mila's friend Charlotte came over and helped Mila fingerpaint her new cardboard castle that Marie put together. I have plans with Charlotte's dad, Paul, to take Mila and Charlotte to a couple of Orioles games- they have a subscription to discounted tickets in the kids' section. Mila has shown some degree of an interest in baseball during walks past the diamond in Patterson Park, and has had some fun with a balloon and a cardboard tube (see video above). Some time in the next week I am also hoping to go camping with Mila, Silas, and Ben (Silas' dad). It has been almost a year since Mila's first camping experience with me, described in the earliest days of this blog. Wow, it is amazing how much has changed in a year!

New Arrival

2009-05-31T17:25:00.000-07:00

Andrew Leo Spangler was born in the last minutes of May 28. His introduction to the world in the operating room at Maryland General Hospital was not at all like the birth that we had been preparing for, the birth that started in our own home with a midwife and a heated tub, but we are on the other side of the mountain now. We are especially grateful to our midwife and her assistant who helped us navigate the unplanned entrance into the hospital, provided invaluable support, and stayed with us continuously for a day and a half.

Marie and baby Drew are now doing well now, though there is certainly a lot of emotional and physical healing that still lies ahead for Marie. Drew has made miraculous progress from his first moments of life on the outside, and joy has increasingly replaced stress as I have caught up on sleep (in a general sense). Mila has also revealed herself to be a perfect big sister, trembling as she controls all her impulses to squeeze her little brother, exhibiting a gentle and cautious touch as she pets his head. The future of this blog is now the story of a family of four.

Warm Weather Celebration

2009-04-27T12:00:00.000-07:00

4 favorite spots for a Warm Spring Day in Baltimore: Our sidewalk in Mount Vernon (preferably with trike scooter or chalk), Federal Hill playground overlooking the Inner Harbor, the Maryland Zoo in Baltimore, Robert E. Lee park off of Falls Road.

Yes, the warm weather is here and we're very pleased. Aside from our much-needed time in the outdoors, Marie and Mila and I are getting our home ready for the new arrival, just a few weeks away! Our current favorite name for baby boy is Andrew Leo Spangler, or just Drew. We have all our supplies, but still have more mental and physical preparing to do. Mila is very excited and enjoys play acting interactions with her baby brother. It is quite a special time.

I probably won't be updating this blog very frequently in the next month or so, until our life with with our new family member develops its own groove. In the past month I have been doing a fair amount of "micro-blogging" on Twitter (to the neglect of this here blog), and I think I'm going to be giving that a rest as well. Until the next stage of the journey...

Assateague Island - trip #1

2009-03-31T11:42:00.000-07:00

A spontaneous car trip with Mila yesterday, to give Marie some rest and space to get home projects done on her day off from work, began with me asking Mila if she wanted to go to the Inner Harbor. My first priority was to get Mila down for a nap, so as we approached the harbor area I asked Mila if she wanted to go to Annapolis and see the Chesapeake Bay. Holding her red stuffed crab, she agreed, with the added suggestion that we get something to eat there. Mila fell asleep as we turned onto I-695 and I decided to keep driving toward the ocean and see for how long she would nap. On Sunday I had taught a make-up class at MICA and I still had a few days before I had to teach another class, so I was feeling very free with my schedule for the day. I crossed the Bay Bridge, followed highway 50 eastward, and was nearly to Salisbury before Mila woke up.

I talked to Marie on the phone as we stopped at a grocery store just before the bridge to Assateague Island. She requested that I call when I see some wild horses. We had hardly been driving on the island for a half mile when we encountered three small horses grazing along the side of the road, including what looked like a yearling. Mila wanted to go say hi to the "baby horse", but I had to explain that these were not pets or zoo animals, but wild animals. She eventually got the idea that they "might kick", but was still interested in getting closer. Carrying Mila on my shoulders about five feet away from a horse was as close as we got. It was an incredible experience. I tried my best to describe it to Marie on the phone. (A day pass to the National Seashore turned out to be a 7-day pass as well, so I am hoping to bring the whole family back to Assateague Island next weekend.)

Mila and I spent a long time on the beach, and had the place virtually to ourselves. Mila's favorite activity, aside from digging with a shell, was throwing sand on my back and chasing me with her hands full of it. An outdoors potty adventure turned into quite the lesson for Mila in the use of primitive tools and available resources, such as scooping with shells and washing with water from the ocean. It is still March and a tad chilly in the North Atlantic...

Driving further southward on the island, I navigated the car slowly through a herd of wild horses, stopping once in awhile for a horse to poke its head into the car. This was a hit with Mila, as you might imagine. We parked the car at the head of a trail called "Life Of The Dunes", and hiked in the midst of a Dr. Seuss-like landscape of scrub pine, flowers, and undulating sand. Mila enjoyed walking along what looked like intermittent strips of exposed rock, although it was black and sandy to the touch. Later we found a sign that explained that this had been Baltimore Boulevard, a road built in the 1950's (along with some 900 structures on the island) that had been destroyed by a "northeaster" storm in 1962 before the area had been protected as a National Seashore. At the far end of the loop trail, we spotted two small deer. We looked at the picture on one sign that showed the diversity of animal life on the island, and Mila became determined to find a fox mama and baby. We walked back slowly as the sun set and the stars came out, laughing at the chatter of birds in the bushes.

After finding dinner along the strip of resort hotels north of Ocean City, feeling like a ghost town at this time of year and in the present economy (desperate sign on one bank along the road advertised "Still Strong, Still Lending"), we headed back to Baltimore in the dark. Mila slept while I sipped gas station coffee. Of course I hadn't brought my camera on this day. One day I'll figure out how to get the pictures off my cell phone.

a few more photos from Iowa

2009-03-31T11:03:00.000-07:00

Mila and her uncle David had one day of overlap in Iowa City during the spring break. The last time my brother saw Mila was when she was just about 3 months old. Reintroduction of Mila and David while trying to wake up the latter probably wasn't the best idea, but Mila warmed up to her uncle by the time we took an afternoon walk together to the local playground. Mila offered him an imaginary blueberry and all was well.

Having family spread across the far corners of the country, with none around Baltimore, sometimes has its challenges. Our visits are always memorable. With a new baby on the way in late May (!!), we will probably not be so mobile for awhile. After weeks of travelling, it is nice to be home for a long stretch as Marie and I prepare for the upcoming birth.

Mila in Iowa

2009-03-20T10:12:00.000-07:00

We are halfway through Mila's longest period of separation from her mama. We wish Marie was here with us, but the love and attention that Mila is getting from her grandparents is getting us through alright. Highlights of Mila's visit to Iowa have included hikes in Hickory Hill Park, playing in her great grandma's yard (and receiving a stuffed pug dog), a preschooler "funky blues jam" at the IC public library, the playground on the pedestrian mall, and Amish horses and hens out near Kalona. I am trying to shield Mila from the potential Animal Kingdom violence of my parents' miniature poodle trying to kill their African Gray parrot.

Travelin' Man

2009-03-16T09:42:00.000-07:00

I arrived home last night at 5 AM after a long drive straight from Toronto to New York to Baltimore, the last leg of a whirlwind mini-tour over the past two weeks that has allowed me to feel like I'm living the dream of rock star DJ life. If only I were actually making any money doing the shows... imagine. The experience of performing in two new countries (Portugal and Canada) and collaborating onstage with amazing musicians has been great. Arriving home is even better. As much fun as touring and performing is, I can't imagine touring regularly, one night after another in a different city with my family far away.

Tomorrow Mila and I depart for Iowa City, this time without turntables. We will be spending 5 days with my parents and my brother. Marie is not able to come with us, due to her work schedule. This will be the longest period of time that Mila and Marie have been apart, and I don't expect that it will be easy for either of them. I don't know what to expect from Mila when she suddenly goes from two weeks without seeing her dad much to suddenly being swept up on an airplane and hanging out with only her dad, uncle, and grandparents for almost a full week. I am looking forward to seeing the blossoming of communication skills that Mila has regularly showed when receiving undivided attention from her relatives.

I am so grateful to Therese, Marie's mom, for flying up from Florida to help take care of Mila during my mini-tour. Family is wonderful. Here's to a calmer April before the Spangler family of Baltimore expands with a new member, later on toward the summer. Yes, I believe that the secret is out. Marie and I look forward to preparing together for something very special.

A visit from Grandpa, and a new question

2009-02-24T14:20:00.000-08:00

We had a nice visit from my Dad this weekend. A trip with Mila to the Science Center, toddling on the docks of the Inner Harbor, and many book readings were among the highlights. A few pictures from the weekend are posted here.

Yesterday Mila began asking "Why?" repeatedly when I stated that a certain thing had to be done or postponed. Mila wants to feed the fish in the middle of the afternoon. Daddy says we only feed the fish twice a day. Mila asks "Why?". I say that too much food will make the fish bowl dirty. Mila asks "Why?". And so on. She has also started to use the word "because" in her own sentences when I ask her about things. It is a new world of communication, and of circular arguments. While it may mean more parenting challenges, I am happy to see these new developments. I think that Mila has been learning a lot from her friend Silas, who is a little bit older and definitely wanting to know "Why?" on a full-time basis (see the video from the National Zoo on my last post for an example).

Trip To The National Zoo

2009-02-16T14:10:00.000-08:00

Marie had the day off on Friday, a day on which we were also babysitting Silas, so we all got to go to the National Zoo in DC. An unusually warm day, this was also the first time that I've seen the pandas outside. A great day all around. I know that Nani will especially appreciate the picture of Mila with the hippo. Look for one video at the bottom.

Mila's first gallery show

2009-02-11T07:47:00.000-08:00

New drawings by Mila, who also helped me arrange and tape them to the wall. She is reticent to analyze her work for the camera, preferring her art to speak for itself.

Turning the page to February

2009-01-31T12:02:00.000-08:00

This week I hope to be re-establishing some sort of routine after an unusual and stressful month. The Mobtown Modern event last Wednesday ("More Than Words") went well, although the particular piece that I was rehearsing had to be cut from the program. I had underestimated the difficulty of the music (selections from "Pierrot Lunaire" by Arnold Schoenberg), and so had several of the musicians I had hired for the ad hoc ensemble. Rather than go forward with a performance that felt shaky, we decided to postpone the work for a future event. The experience was painful, given the time put in by all, but a necessary learning experience for a few of us. The show on Wednesday went ahead without the Pierrot Redux project and turned out to be near perfect, in spite of the cancellation and horrible weather. Superb performances were given by special guests Wendy Richman, Tim Feeney, Ken Ueno, and Julieanne Klein (who stayed at our house for four nights), traveling here for the show from New York, New Jersey, and California. Despite a mixed review by the Baltimore Sun classical music critic who covers most of our events, all the performers and audience members that I talked to felt great about how it went.

The cat that I mentioned at the end of my last post, KeeKee, had to return to her previous owners yesterday. To start with, it turns out that Marie is allergic to cats. The pooping problem had also escalated in the past several days, with four incidents on our bedroom carpet. This expansion of her bathroom territory occurred after we had to move the litterbox into our room for the time while our friend Julieanne stayed with us (another, more severe cat allergy). I kept the litterbox very clean, at least whenever I was home, so I'm not sure why this occurred. Some cats are just special. Anyway, this was not a happy experience for anyone.

Mila, on the other hand, has been making huge strides in her use of the toilet. I'm really proud of her growing independence. Her vocabulary and use of sentences has also been increasing a lot this past month, as I mentioned before. The behavioral issues have not been as major this past week, and she has been apologizing occasionally after incidents do occur. I see her developing a sense of what is right and wrong, while still testing our reactions as parents. We work daily on helping Mila to understand her feelings and to be in control her actions. With the return of some normalcy to our weekly routine, I'm very aware of the need to diversify our days with a lot of different types of learning. The cold weather is a deterent to being outside, but we do have free entrance to the Science Museum during January and February with our Zoo pass. We are also taking Music Together classes, which provide a lot of songs and activities for us to practice. During down time, Mila also enjoys reading to herself almost as much as she enjoys being read to. In this we feel extremely lucky.

A few words about January

2009-01-22T20:29:00.000-08:00

A view from our living room window...

This has been the most intense month in awhile, with deadlines on two major projects, the beginning of my second semester teaching at MICA, a succession of beloved friends and family visiting our home from afar in the past few weeks, and a family trip down to DC for Obama's inauguration. Next Wednesday is the Mobtown Modern event "More Than Words", for which I am organizing a performance of Schoenberg's "Pierrot Lunaire" in a remixed arrangement. I need to create 7 interludes of 30 seconds each-- based on samples of the instrumental parts, plus a plan for live electronic processing using the ever-handy Kaoss Pad.

Mila has brought her own brand of chaos in recent days, with some new testing behaviors that have led me to again commit myself to reading "Easy To Love, Difficult To Discipline". I need some strategies in which I can feel more confident. Some toddler behaviors that I'm currently struggling to figure out how to respond to: face-hitting/smushing/pinching/pushing, smacking the keyboard of the laptop while Daddy is at the computer, and intentional spilling at the table. These behaviors don't happen all that often, but at least once every few days. I know it has been somewhat stressful for Mila to have Mommy returning to work after a longish government holiday with guests at our place.

At the same time that these boundary-pushing tricks have been arising, Mila has been blossoming in her verbal communication skills. She has been making friends with some of our longtime friends and referring to them by name, which is really touching.

In the past few weeks we have had visits from Becka and Pete (moving from Pittsburgh to Portland, Oregon), Nani and Grandpa (my parents, who took the train from Iowa), and Paul and Garrett (visiting from Kentucky for the inauguration). Next week we will be hosting Julieanne, our singer friend from New Jersey who is singing on the Mobtown Modern concert. I hope to have new pictures and video up soon, but this may be all that I can manage in the next couple of weeks. Times are both crazy and giddy with excitement at the same time.

Mila has been saying she wants to play with Obama's kids. She got a pretty close view of Sasha passing by during the presidential motorcade procession. Our day down there was both awe-inspiring and one of the more challenging physical ordeals in recent memory. I was not impressed with the organization of the event so far as crowd management by the Capitol Police and Homeland Security was concerned, leading to some fairly dangerous situations amid mislabeled dead ends and third-rate megaphones. Anyway, that's a whole other story. I am definitely hoping for a new vision of what this country is about, and am interested to see how this new ethic of public service plays out, but my head is mostly going to be in my work on the home kitchen front first. Then I'll worry about my students, then... oh, the new cat just pooped on the carpet. Talk to you later.

Christmas in Florida

2008-12-31T06:18:00.001-08:00

Unsilent Night 2008

2008-12-09T06:44:00.000-08:00

It's definitely winter in Baltimore now. Mila is ready for the snow with an array of adorable hats and coats (seen in above photo wearing her Abominable Snowbaby coat and special cap from our friend Julia).

Last night was the annual holiday boombox parade, "Unsilent Night", which my friend Brian organizes here in Baltimore. It's a piece by NYC composer Phil Kline for unlimited boomboxes, with copies of 4 syncronized tracks passed out on CDs or tapes for the participants. Everyone presses play at the same time and proceeds on a planned route through the city streets. It is done in cities all over the world (not necessarily on the same night) and has been organized by my friend here in Baltimore for the past 3 years. Marie and Mila were able to do the entire route with me this year, along with our friend Ben and his son Silas. A jolly time was had by all, though Mila fell asleep before the end-- could it have been otherwise in the cozy back carry Marie has her in? About 40 people participated in the happening this year (see video below).

The route started just 3 blocks from our house, in front of Penn Station (under the infamous "man/woman" statue), proceeded south on Charles Street to the Washington Monument in Mount Vernon Square, then went back north on Charles to Penn Station, finally circling through the station and back out to the front to the statue. Not seen in this video is the moment near the end when we walked through Penn Station and an Amtrak officer stopped me (in particular) to ask what was going on. He was the same guy who I had to deal with when my sound class at MICA did a stealth sound installation at the station (involving hidden boomboxes and laptops, manipulating sounds recorded in the same space) about a month ago. I must be on a special list by now!

Check out www.unsilentbaltimore.com

Scrapes and new modes of playing

2008-12-03T12:23:00.000-08:00

Mila has had an increase of scrapes and bruises lately, resulting from greater physical ambitions. The top half of her body is often moving faster than her lower half, as she looks forward to where she wants to be without always looking at where she is. She is anxiously pursuing a new stage of physical interaction with the world as a runner and climber. Her legs are not always up to speed. It is difficult to see her get hurt, but I know that the head and knee bonks are not as bad as they seem to me. It is all a part of her learning to inhabit the space around her.

Another recent development is her new role playing with toys. I first noticed this yesterday with her enactment of a conversation between her stuffed tiger and her new "Rogue" (of the X-Men) action figure, given to her recently by my friend Jon. I was able to capture a little bit of this new mode of playing today in the car, although the video clip here does not represent the full range of her role playing with these toys.

It's snowing, and Mila can say it!

2008-11-21T07:30:00.000-08:00

Thursday Field Trip

2008-11-21T04:58:00.000-08:00

While I don't have any photos or video, unfortunately, I just want to document a fun day that Mila and I had together yesterday. She has been very interested in dinosaurs lately, and has frequently requested to watch a YouTube video of a clip from the Disney "Dinosaur" movie [other top YouTube requests from Mila: "Moose", "Babies", "Zee-zee" (Chimpanzee)]. Anyway, I had recently seen a bumper sticker advertising "Dinosaur Land" in Winchester, VA. I looked it up online (it's actually in White Post, VA-- just north of Front Royal, in the Shenandoah Valley) and figured that it would be a nice drive. We piled into the car around noon and Mila fell asleep, shortly after getting around DC. I woke up Mila just as we were pulling up in front of Dinosaur Land, and she was awed by the giant fiberglass beasts towering over the parking lot. Tickets were bought inside a gift shop, where we were ushered through a door into the large yard that featured a "Prehistoric Forest". First, closest to the road, was a giant shark being attacked by a giant octopus with big cartoonish eyes. Make no mistake, this place is unparalleled in the field of tacky roadside attractions. Mila was nervous at first, but soon got into the spirit of the place-- climbing over and crawling under tentacles. We followed a pathway that brought us to dinosaurs of all stripes and colors, life-sized painted statues standing alone or in battle with each other. Mila displayed great courage, walking under T Rexes and poking the eyes of velociraptors, walking up a ramp to sit in the hand of a giant gorilla... wait, that's not a dinosaur. Oh well. There was also a giant praying mantis and a giant king cobra.

After leaving Dinosaur Land, we had some fun walking around a pet store in the area. Mila had her shopping cart, as is her preference these days. She especially liked the small rodents. Mice look so cute when they're not pooping on your stovetop. The Russian tortoises were also a hit. Since we haven't been able to go to the zoo recently, the pet store combined with Dinosaur Land seemed to be an acceptable substitute.

On our way back we stopped at the Apple House, just east of Front Royal, for apple donuts and a pork BBQ sandwich. Eating out is getting more difficult with Mila, attempting to keep her in one spot that is not under the table. She has also become a more picky eater, and didn't eat any of the sandwich. Driving toward home, I decided to wait until rush hour was over before getting onto the Beltway. We stopped at the Manassas battlefield and walked around there as the sun went down. There was plenty of grass for Mila to roll around on-- sadly, grass is a rare treat for us in our urban existence. We also had the pleasure of discovering a huge herd of deer (at least 20), hanging around the area where Stonewall Jackson's reinforcements allegedly made their surprise attack. Mila also liked sitting on the front stoop of the old Henry House in the middle of the battleground, and enjoyed saying "old house"-- a new word combination. Our last stop was at a large mall in Fairfax, where we rode the glass elevators and looked at a big Polar Express area with fake snow and Santa, a waterfall fountain, and another bunch of life-size animal figures (giraffes, pandas, lions, etc.). Mila also got to climb around the mall's play area. I go to the mall so infrequently that these things are a rare novelty.

On the last leg of the drive home, Mila and I talked about the new baby on the way. Mila said "baby hands" a few times, and talked about taking her younger sibling to the zoo.

Baltimore Celebrates Obama Win

2008-11-04T23:18:00.000-08:00

Here is a field recording that I made out in my neighborhood tonight, between 12:30 and 1:30 AM, after Obama wins the election.

Chalk Action Drawing

2008-11-02T17:14:00.000-08:00

One of Mila's birthday presents this year was an easel for drawing, with both paper and blackboard surfaces. Mila is seen here drawing what she describes as a fish ("shishu"), perhaps in a mass of seaweed, through quick strokes using two hands. Kind of like action painting, but with chalk.

Mila says "happy birthday"to her Nani.

Portrait of the Moment

2008-10-28T23:50:00.000-07:00

Toddler dance party to DJ Blaqstarr. Only in Baltimore...

Mila's 2nd Birthday

2008-10-18T08:28:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday Mila!

No Go, Stay Zoo

2008-09-25T17:55:00.000-07:00

Mila's first four-word sequence was attained yesterday as I was attempting to round up Mila and Silas at the end of a trip to the Maryland Zoo. Combined with several emphatic ASL signs and a desperate tone of voice, Mila's demand of "No Go!! Stay Zoo!!" became a great theatrical performance, ending with the act of going limp as I tried to hold her hand and walk toward the exit.

Today Mila has demonstrated her love of telling a story, re-enacting yesterday's scene in our kitchen as I made lunch. I imitated her, and she would crack up laughing before repeating the four words again while additionally hamming up the performance. We kept cracking each other up with this acted-out phrase for maybe five minutes, going back and forth. Great fun!

Mila at art opening: "My Life In Fiction"

2008-09-25T17:31:00.000-07:00

Mila was a favorite photo subject at the opening of Kianga Ford's exhibition, "My Life In Fiction" at the Contemporary Museum. In this picture, Mila is reclining on one of four inflated cushions with some of Kianga's site-specific narratives in the "Story Of This Place" series playing over sets of headphones coming from the center of the cushion.

My collaboration with this artist, "The Story Of This Place: Charm City Remix", is available at the front desk of the museum, by borrowing an iPod and a taking a special map to follow while walking in the neighborhood outside the museum.

New Job And A Babysitting Exchange

2008-09-12T13:04:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago I was contacted by the head of the video department at MICA (Maryland Institute College of Art), asking if I was available to teach a sound class starting the next week. I had contacted him in the spring asking about part-time teaching, and although there was nothing available at the time, luckily he remembered me when they had a last-minute opening. So, I am now teaching Sound 1 (a once-a-week class that meets for 6 hours at a time) at MICA, and it seems that they want me to continue teaching that class, plus Sound 2, next semester too!

I am incredibly fortunate that my friend Ben, another stay-at-home dad, was open to a weekly babysitting exchange that gives us both time to get in our work. Ben's son, Silas, is Mila's best friend so it is working out great. We are all part of a playgroup organized through BaltAP (Baltimore Attachment Parenting). Marie met everyone in the playgroup first, while I was teaching full-time in the charter school last year. It has been a great network to inherit as I have become a stay-at-home dad. Gradually, working and parenting life is beginning to find its patterns and balance.

Two great video clips from last week: the first is Mila interacting with Silas while he plays melodica. The second is a pretty cool turntable duo improv session between Mila and Naftali, another great kid from BaltAP. Mila's turntable has Bach cello, Naftali's has DJ Vadim, with delay effects via my Korg KP3.

Vocabulary

2008-09-11T20:58:00.000-07:00

It just occurred to me yesterday that I really need to document how Mila is developing her vocabulary. She is now understanding a huge amount of what Marie and I say, and is really picking up speed with her ability to repeat sounds and words that she hears. We were all having family lounging time this evening, listening to Bjork ("Aurora", from Vespertine), and for the first time I heard Mila repeat back words that she heard in the lyrics (and singing imitatively). This was really amazing to hear. It definitely makes me feel the need for a new level of consciousness about speech in Mila's presence, and about some of the other lyrics-based music that I listen to. Ahem.

I have tried putting together a list of vocabulary words that Mila currently says and understands. I know I'm forgetting a lot of them. She can understand, but not yet say, probably at least double the number of words listed here:

Babu, Baby, Ball, Bibi, Boat, Book, Boot, Bounce, Bug, Bye, Car, Cat, Cracker, Cheese, Daddy, Dog, Doll, Duck, Ear, Eye, Feet, Fish, Flower, Gator, Go, Goat, Hat, Hi, Home, In, Juice, Jump, Mommy, Moon, More, Mouth, Nani, Nemo, No, Nose, One, Out, Papa, Paw, Play, Please, Salsa, See, Shoe, Shy, Sit, Stay, Three, Too, Truck, Two, Up, Water, Yes, Zoo.

She can say most of the letters of the alphabet, not in any particular order, and is now getting "A, B, C" in the correct sequence. Same for "One, Two, Three". Pretty cool.

She also has ASL signs for many more words that she is not yet able to say.

Farewell Layla

2008-09-06T11:11:00.000-07:00

As the outer bands of Tropical Storm Hanna hit Baltimore today, our family had make a sad trek to the Light Street Animal Hospital with our dog Layla. Our beloved coonhound that Marie and I adopted in Ithaca NY had a heart condition that had reached its breaking point in the past several weeks, with a leaky valve wreaking havoc in her abdomen and lungs, preventing her from being able to breathe properly or keep food down. We got the bad news from the vet a few days ago, and were left with the options of either doing nothing, spending thousands on heart surgery for uncertain results, or putting her down. Layla's condition worsened rapidly in the past several days and we were ultimately left with the last choice.

We did not think that it would be right for Mila to be present, since she has to get shots at the doctor's office and this could be confusing and frightening. So after saying goodbye, Marie went down the hall with Layla while I stayed out in the lobby with Mila (who was her normal self, trying to have fun on the scale-- she weighs 27 pounds).

Layla was definitely a tough and soulful dog, living life to the fullest when we were out in the woods. I'm going to miss our hikes. She was adopted in 2003, when she was about 8 months old. She has been in one film (a documentary about my multimedia collaboration "Charm City Remix") and in a song ("HGP Anthem" by Hybrid Groove Project).

The Mila ABCs

2008-08-17T06:43:00.000-07:00

We've recently been working on learning the alphabet, saying and identifying the letters as well as learning the signs in American Sign Language. Mila really enjoys watching a video series called "Signing Time", which teaches ASL to children. Mila has her own version of the alphabet, which goes something like "e, i, i, e, a, P! ... i, a, e, i, P!" (See attached video for evidence of this new linguistic innovation.)

And of course P is for Potty Training, which is our other great adventure these days. Woohoo!

Traffic Jam Saviours

2008-08-15T10:30:00.000-07:00

Stuck in a traffic jam for 9 hours while waiting to get over the Bay Bridge due to a major accident last week, I was humbled by my daughter's amazing patience and good spirits through the whole ordeal. Not one complaint the entire time. My dear wife was also somehow able to keep laughter a part of our day, with truly unshakable spirit. Marie and Mila helped me see our thwarted vacation plans as another opportunity for family fun, even if our vacation had to be downgraded from camping amid wild horses on Assateague Island to lounging in a motel just over the bridge, eating Pizza Hut pizza and watching the Olympics. I guess that otherwise we never would have seen a live broadcast of the Men's 4×100 metre freestyle relay, Michael Phelps' vein-popping celebration and all. That was pretty cool (especially as someting to catch randomly when you don't own a TV at home). Almost a week later, this anti-vacation experience still amazes me at how lucky I am with my family. They are my Zen teachers.

Mila's Second Symphony

2008-08-08T05:55:00.000-07:00

In honor of her daddy's birthday, Mila presents her Second Symphony. (Note the octave relationships in her opening theme built on major seconds!)

Mila's First Symphony

2008-08-04T12:29:00.000-07:00

We have here our first multi-instrumental composition by Mila Spangler, performed on harmonica, theremin, Korg KP3, toy piano and digital piano (with seed packet and plastic phone). Watch out!

In a world of play

2008-07-31T09:17:00.000-07:00

Lil Bit is growing up so quickly.
Check out Mila and her new best friend Silas at the dolphin show of the National Aquarium in Baltimore.

In the past week I have been spending more time taking Mila to have play dates with several other youngsters and to hang out with their parents. Another stay-at-home dad, Ben, and his boy Silas have teamed up with us for excursions and babysitting swaps. At her current stage, Mila doesn't do too much direct playing with other toddlers, favoring parallel play, but with Silas she is a little more outgoing. They enjoy making each other laugh through circular chase games and putting their foreheads together.

It is tempting to make every day a series of fun play activities and excursions, and of course these are great highlights of my days. I am still learning how to incorporate housework and other tasks into my time bonding with Mila. In the meantime, I'll share a couple of pictures from our latest excursion. These are from our most recent trip the Cylburn Arboretum, right before a short afternoon thunderstorm:

A little enlightenment, please...

2008-07-31T08:39:00.000-07:00

Marie recently requested a raise at her job with a company that shall remain unnamed. The main premise of her request centered on the recent increase in her work responsibilities, but also happened to mention the end of my teaching job and our recent switch to Marie becoming the primary working parent. (Note to self: avoid mentioning personal situations to future bosses.) Unfortunately, Marie's boss seized on this mention of home circumstances and completely ignored her argument about increased work responsibilities. I must share a sampling of written statements from her boss and and a human resources administrator who shall remain unnamed:

"The real solution is for your husband to find another job and for your income to be frosting on the cake."

"We hope that your husband lands on his feet soon."

"We wish your husband the best of luck in finding employment."

Haven't we come further than this in society's acceptance of different parenting and work roles? Wow.

Blue Ridge Camping Lessons

2008-07-23T08:07:00.001-07:00

After an action-packed weekend at Artscape (nearly on our doorstep), I decided to take Mila on a camping trip to the Blue Ridge mountains. Marie could not come because of work, so this became the first night that Mila had ever slept apart from her mom. Roughing it, to be sure. We left late Monday morning and made it to the entrance to Skyline Drive at Front Royal, Virginia, within two hours. Once we got on Skyline Drive in Shenandoah National Park, we drove slowly (while stopping at overlooks) for probably another 45 minutes until we arrived at Mathews Arm campground.

I should mention that the idea of going camping alone with my 21-month-old daughter, as much as it would surely be a great bonding experience, was also slightly terrifying. I had never experienced being the sole guardian of her well-being for such a long period of time, and Mila had never experienced a full day and night without nursing either.

Things were off to a good start when I managed to get the tent up by myself while managing Mila's involvement with the process. She had some fun dancing inside the tent, and we had a little bit of reading time before venturing out for a hike. We took a short walk, on which Mila got a Smokey The Bear sticker from a campground host, and arrived at a trailhead. Although I had looked forward to doing some serious hiking on this trip, Mila was unusually disinterested in covering much ground. Instead we shortly made our way back to the campsite, where I attempted and failed to start a campfire. Soot-covered, I prepared some cold Tofu Pup "hot dogs" on buns, with a roasted corn and black bean salsa as relish, along with cold baked beans, and blueberries. Mila completely dissed the Tofu Pups, then found her spot in the front passenger seat of the car and single-handedly devoured the blueberries. She seemed content with the berries, plus baked beans, some peanuts, and bun, topped off with some apple juice. We met the dogs of our neighbors a couple of sites up the hill, and were in general good spirits.

I had to struggle a little bit with my expectations of how one should appreciate a natural environment after driving a long distance to be in it. None of my pre-conceived ideas had to do with sitting more in a parked car and pretending to drive. Perhaps Mila wanted to feel in control of where we were traveling, who knows. Anyway, this was OK for awhile but I soon wanted to do things outside of the car. I would ask Mila if she wanted to walk, or go read in the tent, and she would repeatedly practice her new favorite word, "No". She wanted to hang out in the far back of the car where the dog usually was, and in the backseat, and in the front seats. She would point out where Mommy usually sat. She especially liked being at the steering wheel and playing with all the various levers. And she wanted the car key. When I put the car key in my pocket and wouldn't give it to her, she actually took my hand and put it in my pocket to get the key! I wondered at her ability to think about manipulating actions by others, and I wondered how far I should let her have her way in a situation like this.

Attempting to segue from Mila's interest in putting her doll in the carseat, I offered the idea of driving to a nearby place to walk or just take in the sunset view. When it became clear that she would have to get in the carseat, the answer was a clear "No". Each time that I subsequently tried to pick her up and move her out of the car, or to the tent, or into the carseat, it resulted in fitful yelling and screaming to echo through the trees. I'm not sure why I didn't have the foresight to get a campsite a little further from neighbors, but I became embarrassed about the unhappy noise and also paranoid about whether I was being considered a possible kidnapper or someone equally horrible. I'm not sure how many 30-something males I have seen camping alone with a toddler, if any. I was also concerned that the tantrums were linked to Mila's anxiety about being so far away from her Mom overnight. At one point, the crying was so overwhelming as I tried to get her settled in the tent that I scooped her up and quickly buckled her into the carseat, driving out to the main road to give our poor neighbors a break. The crying didn't stop and I didn't drive far before turning around. Arriving back at our campsite, I just decided to let Mila have her enjoyment exploring the inside of the car until she felt more comfortable and in control of things. At some point during all of this, Mila saw that I was a bit depressed and spoke to me directly in the most sincere babbling tone, seemingly explaining all the necessity behind her actions.

Finally, I again asked Mila if she wanted to get down from the car and go read a book in the tent, and she replied "Teh" in the affirmative. We got settled in the tent and read by flashlight, a favorite being songs from the "Maracas" book in the Music Together series. After only one more period of toddler anxiety, involving the door of the tent and the word "Mommy", we both fell asleep under the stars.

At some point during the night (time became unmeasurable after the battery of my cell phone died), I awoke to hear the sound of a large animal walking in the woods around my campsite. Whether it was a deer or a bear I wasn't sure, but I knew enough to have all food stored in the car. Within the first minute of my hearing this, like at a certain point in the movie Jurassic Park, a drizzle of rain began falling. As the fly of the tent was in the car, I waited awhile to determine how much water could be deflected without the fly. When I began to feel water drip on my head, I knew it was time to act. Luckily, I encountered no large animal in my way and heard nothing more as I made my quick trip to the car and got the fly positioned over the tent.

When we woke up (for the final time) in the early morning sunlight, Mila was bright-eyed and happy. She quickly wanted to get on her shoes and explore the outdoors. We had a leisurely breakfast at our picnic table, but soon had to move in double-time to get our tent packed up before the distant thunderstorm wasn't so distant. We got it all in the car before the rain began falling, which it did for only about 5 minutes. We drove southward on Skyline Drive all the way to highway 33, where we would make a short run down to Charlottesville, town of Mila's Daddy's birth. During a short hike at Skyland, Mila got to see two deer at a fairly close distance. I only wish that she had been awake when I saw a small black bear bound across the road just north of Big Meadows.

When we arrived in Charlottesville, we had lunch at an Indian buffet (favorite of Mila's), stopped at a Ben & Jerry's (where Mila fed me Strawberry Cheesecake ice cream and took almost none for herself), and called Marie from the public library. We made it through, Mama.

Things to remember to bring next time:

1. More water

2. Hooded sweatshirts for all (even in the summer)

3. Insect repellant

4. Starter sticks or something for the campfire

5. Ergo baby carrier

6. Mommy

The young experimentalist

2008-07-20T07:44:00.000-07:00

Mila has taken to playing Tim Feeney-style percussion, placing various objects on the surface of a drum and exploring new timbres. Her favorite items for this technique are some Mardi Gras beads and a bowl. Other instruments of choice include: toy piano, kalimba, recorder mouthpieces, Korg KP3, theremin, Roland digital piano, and of course turntables. Her toy instruments live under my electronics table in the music/play room, creating one shared musical space for the family. While I play music, Mila will often join in on the toy piano underneath the turntables. She is really showing amazing growth at the keyboard, playing single notes and intervals in rhythm, methodically moving up and down the keyboard then breaking out into a frenzy of baby-fisted note clusters. One of these days I want to record an improv session with Mila and other musicians from Mobtown Modern.

It's great to watch Mila enjoy making music on her own terms, and I hope she always sees it as enjoyable and not something that her dad just expects her to do. I don't want her to feel pressured into being a musician as she gets older. I just want to provide her with access to all types of instruments that she can pick up when she wants. Of course that's still a kind of conditioning, but can parenting really be without indoctrination?

Daddy's hair adventures

2008-07-15T14:52:00.000-07:00

Having hair clipped short and a toddler strapped to my front gives me the impression that I can move among any people and be socially accepted. The short hair cut is like camoflauge: I can be hip-hop, good ol' boy, arty hipster, young professional (or.. maybe not). Having a toddler brings smiles from people in most any location I have passed through, at least among most women. Especially in some Baltimore neighborhoods where fathers and toddlers are not the most common site, it can feel like serving as a vessel for the spread of benevolence over urban guardedness.

I didn't get as many obvious smiles when I had proto-dreadlocks for most of the past 6 weeks. It's amazing how much feelings about one's hair can affect social perceptions. My motivations in cultivating dreadlocks had a lot to do with starting a new chapter as a stay-at-home dad outside the system. I had an image of how they would look and feel when fully formed, and expected that it would remind me of a commitment to live a natural and healthful lifestyle, symbolizing a spiritual allegiance to consciousness above social norms. And looking cool. Unfortunately, I hadn't stocked up on scalp-friendly dread shampoo during the early stages of forming the dreads, and put my scalp through some itchy abuse while using regular bar soap. It was time to say goodbye to the experience of panhandlers in the Inner Harbor addressing me as "Knotty" and "Dread", in recognition of my hippie guilt. This past week, Mila got to watch me clip them off my head one hot afternoon, and didn't seem to really see me any differently. Well, my head feels a lot cooler. No regrets here.

It begins...

2008-07-13T20:15:00.000-07:00

At the end of my year teaching in the Baltimore City Public School System (as of June 13, 2008), my wife Marie and I decided to try switching roles in parenting and working schedule. She is now the primary earner for our family while I begin a new phase of life as a stay-at-home dad. I finally get a turn to hang out with our daughter Mila for most of every day. It is something that I have desired for almost two years, and I now have a chance to live it. My father-in-law requested that I keep some type of journal to share my experiences on this journey, as it has always been a dream of his. I hope that through this blog I can share these experiences with a wider circle of friends and family. Let's see how this goes.