Christmas in Florida

Unsilent Night 2008

It's definitely winter in Baltimore now. Mila is ready for the snow with an array of adorable hats and coats (seen in above photo wearing her Abominable Snowbaby coat and special cap from our friend Julia).

Last night was the annual holiday boombox parade, "Unsilent Night", which my friend Brian organizes here in Baltimore. It's a piece by NYC composer Phil Kline for unlimited boomboxes, with copies of 4 syncronized tracks passed out on CDs or tapes for the participants. Everyone presses play at the same time and proceeds on a planned route through the city streets. It is done in cities all over the world (not necessarily on the same night) and has been organized by my friend here in Baltimore for the past 3 years. Marie and Mila were able to do the entire route with me this year, along with our friend Ben and his son Silas. A jolly time was had by all, though Mila fell asleep before the end-- could it have been otherwise in the cozy back carry Marie has her in? About 40 people participated in the happening this year (see video below).

The route started just 3 blocks from our house, in front of Penn Station (under the infamous "man/woman" statue), proceeded south on Charles Street to the Washington Monument in Mount Vernon Square, then went back north on Charles to Penn Station, finally circling through the station and back out to the front to the statue. Not seen in this video is the moment near the end when we walked through Penn Station and an Amtrak officer stopped me (in particular) to ask what was going on. He was the same guy who I had to deal with when my sound class at MICA did a stealth sound installation at the station (involving hidden boomboxes and laptops, manipulating sounds recorded in the same space) about a month ago. I must be on a special list by now!












Check out www.unsilentbaltimore.com

Scrapes and new modes of playing

Mila has had an increase of scrapes and bruises lately, resulting from greater physical ambitions. The top half of her body is often moving faster than her lower half, as she looks forward to where she wants to be without always looking at where she is. She is anxiously pursuing a new stage of physical interaction with the world as a runner and climber. Her legs are not always up to speed. It is difficult to see her get hurt, but I know that the head and knee bonks are not as bad as they seem to me. It is all a part of her learning to inhabit the space around her.

Another recent development is her new role playing with toys. I first noticed this yesterday with her enactment of a conversation between her stuffed tiger and her new "Rogue" (of the X-Men) action figure, given to her recently by my friend Jon. I was able to capture a little bit of this new mode of playing today in the car, although the video clip here does not represent the full range of her role playing with these toys.

It's snowing, and Mila can say it!

Thursday Field Trip

While I don't have any photos or video, unfortunately, I just want to document a fun day that Mila and I had together yesterday. She has been very interested in dinosaurs lately, and has frequently requested to watch a YouTube video of a clip from the Disney "Dinosaur" movie [other top YouTube requests from Mila: "Moose", "Babies", "Zee-zee" (Chimpanzee)]. Anyway, I had recently seen a bumper sticker advertising "Dinosaur Land" in Winchester, VA. I looked it up online (it's actually in White Post, VA-- just north of Front Royal, in the Shenandoah Valley) and figured that it would be a nice drive. We piled into the car around noon and Mila fell asleep, shortly after getting around DC. I woke up Mila just as we were pulling up in front of Dinosaur Land, and she was awed by the giant fiberglass beasts towering over the parking lot. Tickets were bought inside a gift shop, where we were ushered through a door into the large yard that featured a "Prehistoric Forest". First, closest to the road, was a giant shark being attacked by a giant octopus with big cartoonish eyes. Make no mistake, this place is unparalleled in the field of tacky roadside attractions. Mila was nervous at first, but soon got into the spirit of the place-- climbing over and crawling under tentacles. We followed a pathway that brought us to dinosaurs of all stripes and colors, life-sized painted statues standing alone or in battle with each other. Mila displayed great courage, walking under T Rexes and poking the eyes of velociraptors, walking up a ramp to sit in the hand of a giant gorilla... wait, that's not a dinosaur. Oh well. There was also a giant praying mantis and a giant king cobra.

After leaving Dinosaur Land, we had some fun walking around a pet store in the area. Mila had her shopping cart, as is her preference these days. She especially liked the small rodents. Mice look so cute when they're not pooping on your stovetop. The Russian tortoises were also a hit. Since we haven't been able to go to the zoo recently, the pet store combined with Dinosaur Land seemed to be an acceptable substitute.

On our way back we stopped at the Apple House, just east of Front Royal, for apple donuts and a pork BBQ sandwich. Eating out is getting more difficult with Mila, attempting to keep her in one spot that is not under the table. She has also become a more picky eater, and didn't eat any of the sandwich. Driving toward home, I decided to wait until rush hour was over before getting onto the Beltway. We stopped at the Manassas battlefield and walked around there as the sun went down. There was plenty of grass for Mila to roll around on-- sadly, grass is a rare treat for us in our urban existence. We also had the pleasure of discovering a huge herd of deer (at least 20), hanging around the area where Stonewall Jackson's reinforcements allegedly made their surprise attack. Mila also liked sitting on the front stoop of the old Henry House in the middle of the battleground, and enjoyed saying "old house"-- a new word combination. Our last stop was at a large mall in Fairfax, where we rode the glass elevators and looked at a big Polar Express area with fake snow and Santa, a waterfall fountain, and another bunch of life-size animal figures (giraffes, pandas, lions, etc.). Mila also got to climb around the mall's play area. I go to the mall so infrequently that these things are a rare novelty.

On the last leg of the drive home, Mila and I talked about the new baby on the way. Mila said "baby hands" a few times, and talked about taking her younger sibling to the zoo.

Baltimore Celebrates Obama Win

Here is a field recording that I made out in my neighborhood tonight, between 12:30 and 1:30 AM, after Obama wins the election.

Chalk Action Drawing

One of Mila's birthday presents this year was an easel for drawing, with both paper and blackboard surfaces. Mila is seen here drawing what she describes as a fish ("shishu"), perhaps in a mass of seaweed, through quick strokes using two hands. Kind of like action painting, but with chalk.

Mila says "happy birthday"to her Nani.

Portrait of the Moment

Toddler dance party to DJ Blaqstarr. Only in Baltimore...

Mila's 2nd Birthday

Happy birthday Mila!

No Go, Stay Zoo

Mila's first four-word sequence was attained yesterday as I was attempting to round up Mila and Silas at the end of a trip to the Maryland Zoo. Combined with several emphatic ASL signs and a desperate tone of voice, Mila's demand of "No Go!! Stay Zoo!!" became a great theatrical performance, ending with the act of going limp as I tried to hold her hand and walk toward the exit.

Today Mila has demonstrated her love of telling a story, re-enacting yesterday's scene in our kitchen as I made lunch. I imitated her, and she would crack up laughing before repeating the four words again while additionally hamming up the performance. We kept cracking each other up with this acted-out phrase for maybe five minutes, going back and forth. Great fun!

Mila at art opening: "My Life In Fiction"

Mila was a favorite photo subject at the opening of Kianga Ford's exhibition, "My Life In Fiction" at the Contemporary Museum. In this picture, Mila is reclining on one of four inflated cushions with some of Kianga's site-specific narratives in the "Story Of This Place" series playing over sets of headphones coming from the center of the cushion.

My collaboration with this artist, "The Story Of This Place: Charm City Remix", is available at the front desk of the museum, by borrowing an iPod and a taking a special map to follow while walking in the neighborhood outside the museum.

New Job And A Babysitting Exchange

A few weeks ago I was contacted by the head of the video department at MICA (Maryland Institute College of Art), asking if I was available to teach a sound class starting the next week. I had contacted him in the spring asking about part-time teaching, and although there was nothing available at the time, luckily he remembered me when they had a last-minute opening. So, I am now teaching Sound 1 (a once-a-week class that meets for 6 hours at a time) at MICA, and it seems that they want me to continue teaching that class, plus Sound 2, next semester too!

I am incredibly fortunate that my friend Ben, another stay-at-home dad, was open to a weekly babysitting exchange that gives us both time to get in our work. Ben's son, Silas, is Mila's best friend so it is working out great. We are all part of a playgroup organized through BaltAP (Baltimore Attachment Parenting). Marie met everyone in the playgroup first, while I was teaching full-time in the charter school last year. It has been a great network to inherit as I have become a stay-at-home dad. Gradually, working and parenting life is beginning to find its patterns and balance.

Two great video clips from last week: the first is Mila interacting with Silas while he plays melodica. The second is a pretty cool turntable duo improv session between Mila and Naftali, another great kid from BaltAP. Mila's turntable has Bach cello, Naftali's has DJ Vadim, with delay effects via my Korg KP3.

Vocabulary

It just occurred to me yesterday that I really need to document how Mila is developing her vocabulary. She is now understanding a huge amount of what Marie and I say, and is really picking up speed with her ability to repeat sounds and words that she hears. We were all having family lounging time this evening, listening to Bjork ("Aurora", from Vespertine), and for the first time I heard Mila repeat back words that she heard in the lyrics (and singing imitatively). This was really amazing to hear. It definitely makes me feel the need for a new level of consciousness about speech in Mila's presence, and about some of the other lyrics-based music that I listen to. Ahem.

I have tried putting together a list of vocabulary words that Mila currently says and understands. I know I'm forgetting a lot of them. She can understand, but not yet say, probably at least double the number of words listed here:

Babu, Baby, Ball, Bibi, Boat, Book, Boot, Bounce, Bug, Bye, Car, Cat, Cracker, Cheese, Daddy, Dog, Doll, Duck, Ear, Eye, Feet, Fish, Flower, Gator, Go, Goat, Hat, Hi, Home, In, Juice, Jump, Mommy, Moon, More, Mouth, Nani, Nemo, No, Nose, One, Out, Papa, Paw, Play, Please, Salsa, See, Shoe, Shy, Sit, Stay, Three, Too, Truck, Two, Up, Water, Yes, Zoo.

She can say most of the letters of the alphabet, not in any particular order, and is now getting "A, B, C" in the correct sequence. Same for "One, Two, Three". Pretty cool.

She also has ASL signs for many more words that she is not yet able to say.

Farewell Layla

As the outer bands of Tropical Storm Hanna hit Baltimore today, our family had make a sad trek to the Light Street Animal Hospital with our dog Layla. Our beloved coonhound that Marie and I adopted in Ithaca NY had a heart condition that had reached its breaking point in the past several weeks, with a leaky valve wreaking havoc in her abdomen and lungs, preventing her from being able to breathe properly or keep food down. We got the bad news from the vet a few days ago, and were left with the options of either doing nothing, spending thousands on heart surgery for uncertain results, or putting her down. Layla's condition worsened rapidly in the past several days and we were ultimately left with the last choice.

We did not think that it would be right for Mila to be present, since she has to get shots at the doctor's office and this could be confusing and frightening. So after saying goodbye, Marie went down the hall with Layla while I stayed out in the lobby with Mila (who was her normal self, trying to have fun on the scale-- she weighs 27 pounds).

Layla was definitely a tough and soulful dog, living life to the fullest when we were out in the woods. I'm going to miss our hikes. She was adopted in 2003, when she was about 8 months old. She has been in one film (a documentary about my multimedia collaboration "Charm City Remix") and in a song ("HGP Anthem" by Hybrid Groove Project).

The Mila ABCs

We've recently been working on learning the alphabet, saying and identifying the letters as well as learning the signs in American Sign Language. Mila really enjoys watching a video series called "Signing Time", which teaches ASL to children. Mila has her own version of the alphabet, which goes something like "e, i, i, e, a, P! ... i, a, e, i, P!" (See attached video for evidence of this new linguistic innovation.)

And of course P is for Potty Training, which is our other great adventure these days. Woohoo!

Traffic Jam Saviours

Stuck in a traffic jam for 9 hours while waiting to get over the Bay Bridge due to a major accident last week, I was humbled by my daughter's amazing patience and good spirits through the whole ordeal. Not one complaint the entire time. My dear wife was also somehow able to keep laughter a part of our day, with truly unshakable spirit. Marie and Mila helped me see our thwarted vacation plans as another opportunity for family fun, even if our vacation had to be downgraded from camping amid wild horses on Assateague Island to lounging in a motel just over the bridge, eating Pizza Hut pizza and watching the Olympics. I guess that otherwise we never would have seen a live broadcast of the Men's 4×100 metre freestyle relay, Michael Phelps' vein-popping celebration and all. That was pretty cool (especially as someting to catch randomly when you don't own a TV at home). Almost a week later, this anti-vacation experience still amazes me at how lucky I am with my family. They are my Zen teachers.

Mila's Second Symphony

In honor of her daddy's birthday, Mila presents her Second Symphony. (Note the octave relationships in her opening theme built on major seconds!)

Mila's First Symphony

We have here our first multi-instrumental composition by Mila Spangler, performed on harmonica, theremin, Korg KP3, toy piano and digital piano (with seed packet and plastic phone). Watch out!

In a world of play

Lil Bit is growing up so quickly.
Check out Mila and her new best friend Silas at the dolphin show of the National Aquarium in Baltimore.

In the past week I have been spending more time taking Mila to have play dates with several other youngsters and to hang out with their parents. Another stay-at-home dad, Ben, and his boy Silas have teamed up with us for excursions and babysitting swaps. At her current stage, Mila doesn't do too much direct playing with other toddlers, favoring parallel play, but with Silas she is a little more outgoing. They enjoy making each other laugh through circular chase games and putting their foreheads together.

It is tempting to make every day a series of fun play activities and excursions, and of course these are great highlights of my days. I am still learning how to incorporate housework and other tasks into my time bonding with Mila. In the meantime, I'll share a couple of pictures from our latest excursion. These are from our most recent trip the Cylburn Arboretum, right before a short afternoon thunderstorm:

A little enlightenment, please...

Marie recently requested a raise at her job with a company that shall remain unnamed. The main premise of her request centered on the recent increase in her work responsibilities, but also happened to mention the end of my teaching job and our recent switch to Marie becoming the primary working parent. (Note to self: avoid mentioning personal situations to future bosses.) Unfortunately, Marie's boss seized on this mention of home circumstances and completely ignored her argument about increased work responsibilities. I must share a sampling of written statements from her boss and and a human resources administrator who shall remain unnamed:

"The real solution is for your husband to find another job and for your income to be frosting on the cake."

"We hope that your husband lands on his feet soon."

"We wish your husband the best of luck in finding employment."

Haven't we come further than this in society's acceptance of different parenting and work roles? Wow.

Blue Ridge Camping Lessons

After an action-packed weekend at Artscape (nearly on our doorstep), I decided to take Mila on a camping trip to the Blue Ridge mountains. Marie could not come because of work, so this became the first night that Mila had ever slept apart from her mom. Roughing it, to be sure. We left late Monday morning and made it to the entrance to Skyline Drive at Front Royal, Virginia, within two hours. Once we got on Skyline Drive in Shenandoah National Park, we drove slowly (while stopping at overlooks) for probably another 45 minutes until we arrived at Mathews Arm campground.

I should mention that the idea of going camping alone with my 21-month-old daughter, as much as it would surely be a great bonding experience, was also slightly terrifying. I had never experienced being the sole guardian of her well-being for such a long period of time, and Mila had never experienced a full day and night without nursing either.

Things were off to a good start when I managed to get the tent up by myself while managing Mila's involvement with the process. She had some fun dancing inside the tent, and we had a little bit of reading time before venturing out for a hike. We took a short walk, on which Mila got a Smokey The Bear sticker from a campground host, and arrived at a trailhead. Although I had looked forward to doing some serious hiking on this trip, Mila was unusually disinterested in covering much ground. Instead we shortly made our way back to the campsite, where I attempted and failed to start a campfire. Soot-covered, I prepared some cold Tofu Pup "hot dogs" on buns, with a roasted corn and black bean salsa as relish, along with cold baked beans, and blueberries. Mila completely dissed the Tofu Pups, then found her spot in the front passenger seat of the car and single-handedly devoured the blueberries. She seemed content with the berries, plus baked beans, some peanuts, and bun, topped off with some apple juice. We met the dogs of our neighbors a couple of sites up the hill, and were in general good spirits.

I had to struggle a little bit with my expectations of how one should appreciate a natural environment after driving a long distance to be in it. None of my pre-conceived ideas had to do with sitting more in a parked car and pretending to drive. Perhaps Mila wanted to feel in control of where we were traveling, who knows. Anyway, this was OK for awhile but I soon wanted to do things outside of the car. I would ask Mila if she wanted to walk, or go read in the tent, and she would repeatedly practice her new favorite word, "No". She wanted to hang out in the far back of the car where the dog usually was, and in the backseat, and in the front seats. She would point out where Mommy usually sat. She especially liked being at the steering wheel and playing with all the various levers. And she wanted the car key. When I put the car key in my pocket and wouldn't give it to her, she actually took my hand and put it in my pocket to get the key! I wondered at her ability to think about manipulating actions by others, and I wondered how far I should let her have her way in a situation like this. 

Attempting to segue from Mila's interest in putting her doll in the carseat, I offered the idea of driving to a nearby place to walk or just take in the sunset view. When it became clear that she would have to get in the carseat, the answer was a clear "No". Each time that I subsequently tried to pick her up and move her out of the car, or to the tent, or into the carseat, it resulted in fitful yelling and screaming to echo through the trees. I'm not sure why I didn't have the foresight to get a campsite a little further from neighbors, but I became embarrassed about the unhappy noise and also paranoid about whether I was being considered a possible kidnapper or someone equally horrible. I'm not sure how many 30-something males I have seen camping alone with a toddler, if any. I was also concerned that the tantrums were linked to Mila's anxiety about being so far away from her Mom overnight. At one point, the crying was so overwhelming as I tried to get her settled in the tent that I scooped her up and quickly buckled her into the carseat, driving out to the main road to give our poor neighbors a break. The crying didn't stop and I didn't drive far before turning around. Arriving back at our campsite, I just decided to let Mila have her enjoyment exploring the inside of the car until she felt more comfortable and in control of things. At some point during all of this, Mila saw that I was a bit depressed and spoke to me directly in the most sincere babbling tone, seemingly explaining all the necessity behind her actions.

Finally, I again asked Mila if she wanted to get down from the car and go read a book in the tent, and she replied "Teh" in the affirmative. We got settled in the tent and read by flashlight, a favorite being songs from the "Maracas" book in the Music Together series. After only one more period of toddler anxiety, involving the door of the tent and the word "Mommy", we both fell asleep under the stars. 

At some point during the night (time became unmeasurable after the battery of my cell phone died), I awoke to hear the sound of a large animal walking in the woods around my campsite. Whether it was a deer or a bear I wasn't sure, but I knew enough to have all food stored in the car. Within the first minute of my hearing this, like at a certain point in the movie Jurassic Park, a drizzle of rain began falling. As the fly of the tent was in the car, I waited awhile to determine how much water could be deflected without the fly. When I began to feel water drip on my head, I knew it was time to act. Luckily, I encountered no large animal in my way and heard nothing more as I made my quick trip to the car and got the fly positioned over the tent. 

When we woke up (for the final time) in the early morning sunlight, Mila was bright-eyed and happy. She quickly wanted to get on her shoes and explore the outdoors. We had a leisurely breakfast at our picnic table, but soon had to move in double-time to get our tent packed up before the distant thunderstorm wasn't so distant. We got it all in the car before the rain began falling, which it did for only about 5 minutes. We drove southward on Skyline Drive all the way to highway 33, where we would make a short run down to Charlottesville, town of Mila's Daddy's birth. During a short hike at Skyland, Mila got to see two deer at a fairly close distance. I only wish that she had been awake when I saw a small black bear bound across the road just north of Big Meadows.

When we arrived in Charlottesville, we had lunch at an Indian buffet (favorite of Mila's), stopped at a Ben & Jerry's (where Mila fed me Strawberry Cheesecake ice cream and took almost none for herself), and called Marie from the public library. We made it through, Mama.

Things to remember to bring next time:

1. More water

2. Hooded sweatshirts for all (even in the summer)

3. Insect repellant

4. Starter sticks or something for the campfire

5. Ergo baby carrier

6. Mommy

The young experimentalist

Mila has taken to playing Tim Feeney-style percussion, placing various objects on the surface of a drum and exploring new timbres. Her favorite items for this technique are some Mardi Gras beads and a bowl. Other instruments of choice include: toy piano, kalimba, recorder mouthpieces, Korg KP3, theremin, Roland digital piano, and of course turntables. Her toy instruments live under my electronics table in the music/play room, creating one shared musical space for the family. While I play music, Mila will often join in on the toy piano underneath the turntables. She is really showing amazing growth at the keyboard, playing single notes and intervals in rhythm, methodically moving up and down the keyboard then breaking out into a frenzy of baby-fisted note clusters. One of these days I want to record an improv session with Mila and other musicians from Mobtown Modern.

It's great to watch Mila enjoy making music on her own terms, and I hope she always sees it as enjoyable and not something that her dad just expects her to do. I don't want her to feel pressured into being a musician as she gets older. I just want to provide her with access to all types of instruments that she can pick up when she wants. Of course that's still a kind of conditioning, but can parenting really be without indoctrination?

Daddy's hair adventures

Having hair clipped short and a toddler strapped to my front gives me the impression that I can move among any people and be socially accepted. The short hair cut is like camoflauge: I can be hip-hop, good ol' boy, arty hipster, young professional (or.. maybe not). Having a toddler brings smiles from people in most any location I have passed through, at least among most women. Especially in some Baltimore neighborhoods where fathers and toddlers are not the most common site, it can feel like serving as a vessel for the spread of benevolence over urban guardedness. 

I didn't get as many obvious smiles when I had proto-dreadlocks for most of the past 6 weeks. It's amazing how much feelings about one's hair can affect social perceptions. My motivations in cultivating dreadlocks had a lot to do with starting a new chapter as a stay-at-home dad outside the system. I had an image of how they would look and feel when fully formed, and expected that it would remind me of a commitment to live a natural and healthful lifestyle, symbolizing a spiritual allegiance to consciousness above social norms. And looking cool. Unfortunately, I hadn't stocked up on scalp-friendly dread shampoo during the early stages of forming the dreads, and put my scalp through some itchy abuse while using regular bar soap. It was time to say goodbye to the experience of panhandlers in the Inner Harbor addressing me as "Knotty" and "Dread", in recognition of my hippie guilt. This past week, Mila got to watch me clip them off my head one hot afternoon, and didn't seem to really see me any differently. Well, my head feels a lot cooler. No regrets here.

 

It begins...

At the end of my year teaching in the Baltimore City Public School System (as of June 13, 2008), my wife Marie and I decided to try switching roles in parenting and working schedule. She is now the primary earner for our family while I begin a new phase of life as a stay-at-home dad. I finally get a turn to hang out with our daughter Mila for most of every day. It is something that I have desired for almost two years, and I now have a chance to live it. My father-in-law requested that I keep some type of journal to share my experiences on this journey, as it has always been a dream of his. I hope that through this blog I can share these experiences with a wider circle of friends and family. Let's see how this goes.